RAW is VKM

As always these are my thoughts, and no one elses. I am not
connected to the WWF or any other wrestling organization. As
always, I do what I do to shock and grab attention, and I do so
convincingly. WARNING: There is extremely strong adult language
contained in the following column, so be forewarned.

This column is in memory of Denise Hicks. She will be greatly
missed. My thoughts and prayers not only to her family and
friends, but to Denise, as she starts the next part of her
existence. I look forward to speaking with you again.

Ok, before the Raw break down, lets look at Survivor Series.

A. First a match that the WWF didnt tell anyone about. I told
you, they dont even know what the fuck they are doing. We see
Christian vs. the most under used and under appreciated guys in
wrestling today, Al Snow, for the largely forgotten European
strap. I do think Christian has talent, I really do. That being
said, he is not now, nor will he ever be in the class of Al
Snow. Of course, Al has to do the job. Fuck I hate WWF booking.

B. A lame fucking backstage bit between Steph, Shane, Booker,
Angle and Austin. Cant believe some people pay good money to
watch this shit.

C. Then more McMahon time with Linda and Vince. Not fifteen
minutes into the show, and every fucking McMahon in the place
has had airtime. Guess cousin Cletus McMahon and fifth nephew
twice removed Billy Bob Joel Tucker Charles McMahon couldnt
make it tonight.

D. Is it just me, or does Michael Cole look a little gay?

E. And still more bullshit with the McMahons and Regal. Yes
Vince, shit does happen, and normally someone kisses your ass so
you dont see it.

F. Now the match we have seen at the very least twenty times in
the past few months, Regal vs. Tajiri. Yea, I believe this.
Steven Regal hasnt been a valid force in the ring in over eight
years. So of course, he beats one of the best guys today,
Tajiri. More bullshit, and proof positive that Regal takes his
turn and asks for more time licking McMahons ass. And the final
insult, he comes in to beat on Torrie for no fucking reason.

G. A recap of Mic making all belts pure crap. Then we see Test
acting like a dick and then indicating that Stacy was touching
his ass. Does she actually have to let the guy paw her to earn
her paycheck?

H. Another meaningless bit with Edge

I. In yet another match with a totally unexpected and lame
fucking ending, Test takes the newly united U.S. and
Intercontinental strap. He is a good wrestler, but Edge is
better.

J. Then still more backstage bits. Steph morning her bank
account. Then more to advance yet another angle no one I have
talked to likes yet, with the Hardys Lita and now Trish.

K. Now we have the tag strap unification match, in a cage,
between two teams that meet every fucking PPV anyway. The
Dudleys vs. the Hardy's.

L. Now dont get me wrong, I love seeing Stacy, under any
circumstances, but she had no fucking place in this match. Makes
perfect WWF sense.

M. Again, did any of you understand one aspect of the logic
behind the booking of this match? If you did, please clue me in.
All I got out of it is that Jeff is crazy, the Dudleys won, and
Stacy has a nice ass.

N. A bit with Foley, where it is conclusively shown that Mic has
sold himself, body, mind and soul to Vince McMahon.

O. In another common sense moment, Test became champ tonight,
and cleanly I might add, so he beats the fuck out of Scotty
Hotty for no fucking reason.

P. Then we have the big no firing battle royal. Only one this
match should have gone to is Helms. The people like him, and
damnit, that should still count. Naturally, he is the second one
out.

Q. Test must have moved way up in the McMahon ass licking line.
First he beats Edge for the strap, and then he wins the fucking
battle royal? Really, can you think of any other reason?

R. More exploitation of the Rock group Creed. Vince seems to
think that since some like the group the fact that Vince uses it
with his WWF will make us like the WWF. Fuck you Vince, dont
work that way.

S. Next we see the Ladies match. If you live in a cave, you
didnt know that Jazz would be the mystery person. It has been
all over the net for two days. I didnt mention it in my other
column, as I do know some people actually think the WWF is still
entertaining.

T. All of the ladies have talent, to different degrees. Jazz,
the one Ive seen in ECW had some talent. She could give Lita a
run. It could go anyway.

U. All had talent, but Trish is far removed, only have a
basically simplistic idea of how to wrestle. Of course, she won.
I think she was doing Vince.

V. More backstage bullshit with Vince. Fuck, why dont we just
put him in a chair in the middle of the fucking ring, and stare
at him for two hours. It amounts to about the same thing anyway.

W. That entire main even was fucking worthless. We all knew the
WWF would win. Most of us also knew that it would be Kurt who
was a double agent. If you say we didnt, I can send you past
columns of mine to prove it. How did we know? Easy, we just look
for the lamest possible outcome, and go with that. We are ring,
Vince sucks, and the PPV is over, with Vince McMahon being the
last face you see.

Well, that made me sick to my stomach. Time for a little pepto,
and off with Raw!

RAW is VKM that is Vincent K McMahon for those of you with an
eye-q under the norm.

We have a long recap of the past fifty years in WWF history and
ends with the WWF victory at the Survivor Series.

And while technically the first faces we see are those of Foley
and a WWF lackey, one Im sure earned her job with Vince on her
knees, Vince is the main focus.

1. The Dude Love Toilet wow Vince, you sure are a funny
motherfucker arent you?

2. Sad day, this proves beyond any shadow of doubt, Mic Foley
gave his soul to McMahon.

3. Again, Ive been telling everyone that Vince is the main
character in the WWF, and still, I get people that tell me he
isnt part of that. What more do you need? To make matter worse,
he has no fucking clue what he is doing. He has set himself up
as a face for the past six weeks, and now we see him turning
heel for the 345,765,454,246th time this year.

4. There is ole Cowboy hat, with no color man. Couldnt we just
get a whole new team? Please?

5. And the first fucking person on the live show is of course,
Vince fucking McMahon.

6. Vince thanks Kurt from the ring. Kurt must have changed and
tried a new swirl technique for sucking Vinces ass.

7. Let me get this straight, because of Kurt Angle, ECW and WCW
are dead? No. ECW is dead because Paul has a huge ego and cant
balance a checkbook, and WCW is dead because Ted Turner lost
interest in it, and let it go to shit.

8. And a big fuck you to Vince for dropping the WCW from the WCW
title belt. Id rather he retire it.

The Dogg is going to take some time out to gloat. Ive been
telling everyone and anyone on the net who would listen that the
only way to achieve success in the WWF was to kiss Vince
McMahons ass. To get ever farther, add some tongue to it.
Several net gurus have taken issue with me over it, namely,
SamJerry, Paul LeDuke and Adam Silverstien. Well to those three
individuals who said that I was expressing my own disappointment
in my own life, and jealousy over McMahons, I say fuck you.
Tonight, in that very ring, you heard Vince tell you he is even
making it official. The Kiss Vince McMahons ass club. If you
want your job, kiss my ass. Now, I know some are saying, Dogg,
it isnt going to happen. He is just trying to shock us, but
even Vince wouldnt sink to that level. The Dogg thinks he
will, well see wont we.

9. Fifteen minutes into Raw, and the only one we have seen in
that ring, is fucking Vince.

10. He calls out Heyman. Heyman comes out like he owns the
world, so we know it wont go well for him. On a side note, I
just love ECWs music.

11. Vince fires Heyman. Yes ladies and gentlemen, the line to
kiss McMahons ass starts after Heyman.

12. Now Heyman wants to fight Vince. Vince acts like he could do
something if he wanted to. In a shoot, Ill take Heyman.

Wow, we have not even had our first match tonight, and already I
have my Jim Ross is a stupid fuck quote of the night. On seeing
Heyman and Vince about to trade blows, JR rips this gem off,
Vince will tear him up! Yea, right. Shut up you stupid
cocksucker.

13. Then Heyman goes after Ross, and has to sell that those old
ass punches would do a damn thing to a man of Pauls girth. Then
JR calls him an SOB. Fuck this shit; I think I can catch a
repeat of Briny Spears concert. Anything would be better than
this.

14. On a small good note, we do get to see a returning Jerry
Lawler. Yet another man who once had a backbone and integrity,
who has given his soul to Vince McMahon.

15. We will see a womans title match between Lita and Trish.
Does anyone else wonder why they went to the effort to have an
impressive surprise debut for Jazz, and then have her lose, and
not even talk about her the next night?

16. Ok, so I did mark out a little when I heard the King go,
Woo Hoo!

17. I do admit Trish has a degree of talent, but Im sorry, she
is nowhere close to the level Lita is. Few are. The only ones
who could really give Lita a good go are Jazz and maybe Molly.

18. That was the worse match Ive seen out of Lita, ever. What
makes it worse, is that Lita kicked out, and the match was still
given to Trish.

In a close runner up to the JR is a dumbfuck quote of the night,
this one, My mouth is always open for business. Might just be
the first truthful thing he has said this year. Im sure his
mouth is always open for Vince, weather in front or behind him,
as long as JR is on his knees, he is always open for Vince, he
wants to keep his job.

19. Now a backstage segment with Vince, the Duds, Test and RVD.
Bored now.

20. Did you notice how Christian referred to him as Vince,
looked at God and then changed it to Mr. McMahon? That isnt
script people. Vince makes all but his closest ass kissers call
him Mr. McMahon. Pompous prick.

21. As RVD makes his way to the ring, it becomes so obvious that
he is the most over guy in the WWF.

22. Here come the Dudleys and Stacy. Normally, Id go on and on
about Stacy. This show sucks so bad, I cant even get excited
about her.

23. According to ole Cowboy hat, the Dudleys are the undisputed
champions. Well, it is undisputed, what is all the fighting
about?

24. We are now thirty minutes into Raw, and Lawlers Woo Hoo
is already old and annoying.

25. Good match, the 5 star off the ropes through the table,
ouch! Stacy Yum. Im trying, still bored now.

26. A lame backstage bit with Angle calling some poor stagehand
a dork.

27. I just dont get it. Kurt Angle is undeserving of anything.
First, he gets the biggest fucking push in wrestling ever to
make him a face. Then, right when it starts paying off, they
make him a heel for the past six weeks. Then turned him face
last night by him being a double agent for the WWF. Now, they
are working him as a heel again. Im telling you, they dont
know what the fuck they are doing.

28. I notice JR is always sure to tell people about how fucking
wonderful the WWF New York is so great, but never tells us how
the WWF Las Vegas fell on its ass and is closed.

29. In a moment of clarity, I see Rocky telling Angle that he is
an asshole. Gotta be honest, I sincerely doubt that was a work.

30. Yes, Im convinced, Shane and Steph now have nothing, and
they are broke. You believe that right? Good, now I have some
beautiful ocean property in Nevada Id love to sell you.

31. God Damn, not an hour into Raw, and fucking Vince is in the
ring again.

32. And Vince is pleased over the fact that he has programmed
the WWF fans to chant slut at his daughter. As a father of a
little girl, I think Vince should be executed for that. Not soft
execution either, I say we crucify him in the middle of that
fucking ring. Next Im sure well be encouraged to call Linda a
whore.

33. Now we see Shane and Steph totally stroking Vinces already
over sized ego. Then hell go backstage where Angle will stroke
something else of Vinces.

34. My God, can the acting by all the McMahons be any worse?

35. Yet more with Vince gloating about getting his ass kissed.
Then he talks to Jericho like a red headed stepchild.

36. Mr. T is in the house.

37. Now I have to sit through a lackluster match between Angle
and Rocky.

38. Ok, seventy-five minutes into Raw, and Lawler is back to be
annoying. Id actually more approve of all three being out
there, Heyman, Lawler and JR. Then JR can be a confused moron as
always, Lawler can be the fence ridding fuckhead he is, yelling
puppies at every chance and Heyman can insult both of them.

39. They showed Rocky being punked out by Kurt Angle slapping
him? What the fuck is going on?

In my that line must have slipped out moment, we have this pearl
from the King, Dont say WCW too much, Mr. McMahon will get
mad.

40. Rocky had a sweet roll up off Angles ankle lock submission
for the win

41. Then here comes Jericho for no reason any sensible person
can ever hope to understand.

42. Here comes Vince strutting to the fucking ring yet again.

43. I dont believe it, I dont fucking believe it. A grown man
who kisses another mans ass in the center of the ring, on live
TV. I cant even comment.

44. A match between Kane and Jericho. Not all that impressive.

45. In another lame moment, Taz getting punked out by Regal.

46. I dont care that the King is back, this is terrible
announcing.

47. From JR, Jericho has the walls on Kane. No he doesnt.
Jericho had a Boston Crab on Kane; there is a fucking
difference.

48. The only two good things Ive seen tonight while watching
Raw were a promotion for a movie called Oceans Eleven and a
few moments of Angel I saw by flipping over to it.

49. Yet more pimping of the rock group Creed.

50. A lame exchange between Angle and Edge.

51. In the final humility of it all, we see Taz having to lay
down to Regal in less than two minutes.

52. A whining moment from Kurt to Vince.

53. Yet again, Vince comes strutting his fucking ass to the
ring, to hand over the WWF strap to Kurt.

I cant go on. I love Flair. No one styles and profiles like
Natch can. He is someone who truly loves wrestling. Seeing him
and Austin was reminiscent to Andre passing the torch to Hogan.
Id love to mark out and go crazy over it. I cant.

To all my fans that have been so loyal and kind to me over the
years, I say thank you. It means more than I can say. At this
time the Dogg doesnt know if he wants to watch what is jokingly
being called wrestling these days. I have never been so
disgusted by a wrestling event in my life. I actually saw Vince
McMahon have a guy kiss his ass on TV tonight. That isnt
wrestling, and it isnt entertaining. If you think it is,
youre wrong. Youve just been brainwashed by McMahon. Tonight
was so bad, Ric Flair couldnt save it, and that is saying
something.


My newest bumper sticker We are the proud parents of a child
whose self esteem is sufficient enough that we dont have to
promote her minor scholastic achievements on the back of our
car.

I always try and end on a happy note. And unless you can tell me
that Vince McMahon was locked into a portable outhouse and set
on fire, that is as close as I can get.

As always, it has been your pleasure.
I hope I offended everyone, at least in some small way.

As always your comments are welcomed, and thanks for listening.


=====
***Stardogg Champion***



Raw Rundown with the Lorddess November 19, 2001
These are sent in memory of Denise Hicks, who died today at the age of 31.
She was physically challenged and never let that get her down. She was a true
fan of the WWF and the Undertaker
Her last wish was to get a tape of the Survivor Series, as she was in the
hospital. She passed away during the pay per view.

Video Montage: A revised montage from the one used for the opening of
Survivor Series with shots from happening last night.
At the airport: Mick waits for Vince's private plane. Mick enters the plane
and talks to Vince. Mick makes some pointed comments about how the plane was
paid for, but they go over Vince's head. Mick tells him that he resigns due
to the circumstances he has seen. Vince, eating nachos, accepts his
resignation, and tells him to have a nice day.
(opening video)
In the ring: Vince McMahon publicly thanks Kurt Angle for his work at
Survivor Series. He says someone will have to kiss his butt to keep their
job. JR is sitting alone at the announce table. Vince points this out. He
then calls out Paul. Paul thinks he has gotten away from it, but Vince calls
him to the ring and fires him. Paul gets ready to fight. Instead of going for
Vince, he goes for Jr. JR fights back and security carries Paul out. Jerry
Lawler is announced as returning. The crowd offers a standing ovation!
(commercial)
Match #1 - Lita with Matt vs. Trish - Women's Championship
Lita wastes no time in spearing and got a pin. Both women are very
aggressive. They are pulling some good moves, and are equally matched. Lita
goes up to the top for a high risk maneuvers, but ends up on the outside. As
Matt helps Lita up, both get nailed with a baseball slide. Matt puts Lita
back in the ring. Lita immediately pins with a backslide and gets the three
count.
WINNER: TRISH - retains title
In the locker room: Vince walks in to look at Dudleys, Test and RVD. Test
informs Vince that he cannot fire him. Vince turns his attention to RVD for a
handicap tables match against the Dudleys. The rest leave. Christian
approaches Vince to kiss some butt, and tells him he is so happy to be with
him again. He offers a hand, but Vince tells him to get out of his sight.
(commercial)
Match #2 - Rob Van Dam vs. Dudleys with Stacy - Handicap Table Match
The Dudleys immediately go to work on RVD, but RVD fights them both and gets
them both on the mat. Falls do not count in a table match. RVD does his
rolling thunder onto Dvon. BuhBuh takes RVD in the corner and slaps him with
rights. RVD spears Buh Buh in the opposite corner. Dvon pulls neckbreaker on
RVD, and they get out the tables. RVD gets Dvon out of the ring and knocks
down BuhBuh. He takes the one table and sets it up (it was leaning in a
corner) RVD gets a chair, throws it at BuhBuh and then kicks the chair. RVD
uses his trained legs to put Dvon on the table. He flies across the ring, but
Dvon moves in time. Van Dam is laying there, but the match goes on. The
Dudleys pick up RVD, and put him through the table.
WINNERS: DUDLEYS
Backstage: Kurt walks into the arena. He already has become more of an
egotist. He abuses a worker and then looks for the Rock.
(commercial)
Backstage: Kurt and Rock talk -- but the Rock says he did not need Kurt, does
not trust him, and never will.
In the garage: Shane and Steph have been summoned to the arena by their
father.
(commercial)
In the ring: Vince says that Stone Cold has not arrived yet. He says no
music, but he tells his children to come out. Vince says sarcastically that
he is so proud to hear an arena calling his daughter a slut. Shane says that
his father won and he lost, and he lost to the better man. Shane leaves the
ring. Steph plays the naive daughter and says it was all Shane's fault. She
says she is sooooo sorry. Vince is not affected, and he calls security. Steph
pathetically grabs his leg, but the security men pry her off and take her
out. Vince tells the audience to say good-bye to daddy's little girl!
Backstage: Vince confronts Jericho. Jericho does not give a really interested
sorry, so Vince says he will go against Kane tonight
In the audience: Mr. T.
Match #3 - Kurt Angle vs. Rock
Kurt and Rock go for each other. Rock talks some trash. Kurt takes an early
lead, but then Rock steps up the pace to give himself the advantage. Kurt
helps the Rock out of the ring over the top using Rockâs own momentum. Kurt
gets on the ankle lock when Rock returns in. Kurt then uses the ropes on
Rockâs neck. The crowd is chanting that Angle sucks. Angle, in response,
suplexes Rock a few times. The belt is at stake, and Angle wants it. Angle
gives a scoop slam. He goes to the top. Rock uses the ropes, and knocks Angle
down to a straddle. Both men are now down on the mat, after the Rock takes
Angle down from his perch. The two exchange rights. The Rock counters Angle
and gets a DDT, but Kurt kicks out. Kurt goes for the eyes, and the Rock is
on his knees. Rock returns with a spinebuster. Angle gives an Angleslam.
Angle goes for the anklelock. Rock gets out of it and counters and is able to
pin and win. Kurt goes after Rock after the bell. Rock nails Angle, but then
Jericho comes out and beats on the Rock and then helps Angle, who throws on
the anklelock. Jericho talks trash in Rockâs face. Another ref comes in to
stop the mess, but Jericho goes for the Walls. Jericho continues his assault.
The Rock is far from pleased.
WINNER: ROCK
(commercial)
In the ring: Vince tells William Regal he is a member of the Kiss My Ass
Club, and tells him that indeed he has to literally kiss his bottom on TV.
Vince pulls down his pants, and then his underwear. He gives Regal chapstick
and tells him to pucker up. Regal kisses it quickly and leaves the area.
Backstage: Kane prepares for his match
(commercial)
Backstage: Regal is embarrassed. Tazz calls him a kiss ass and a fight ensues.
Match #4 - Kane vs. Jericho
Kane is throwing Jericho around. It is clear he wants to knock that ego down
to size.
Jericho uses the ropes to get Kane to the mat. He continues the punishment by
catapulting Kaneâs face into the ropes. Jericho moonsaults on Kane, but
Jericho gets caught by the throat. Jericho gives a low blow to get out of it.
Jericho goes to get a chair, but Kane uses a big foot to get rid of the
chair. Kane gives Jericho a tilt-a-whirl. Jericho comes off the rope with a
chair and nails Kane. The bell rings. Jericho continues to punish Kane, with
the chair, but he cannot get Jericho in the walls. Jericho is able to lock
the walls in finally, but he will not let go. Finally, Jericho lets go after
doing damage. He returns to do it again before he leaves.
WINNER: KANE - BY DQ
(commercial)
Video Montage - Shots of the Superstars to music by Creed
Backstage: Angle is whining about the Rock. Angle confronts Edge about his
comment that he called Angle yellow. Edge says he saved his own job with his
belts, and Kurt has none.
In the parking lot: No sign of Austin yet.
(commercial)
Match #5 - Tazz vs. Regal
Regal wastes no time to nail Tazz as he enters the ring. Tazz just starts
brawling. Within a minutes Tazz gets the Tazzmission on. Regal finally gets
out and puts on the Regal stretch. Tazz taps. Regal refuses to break the
hold.
WINNER: REGAL
Backstage: Kurt is pouting in the back. Vince comes to talk to him. Kurt
tells him he is hurt because his coworkers don't respect him. Vince asks him
if he would like to be the champion, and tell him to follow him out to the
ring.
(commercial)
In the ring: Vince says that Austin did not show up, so Vince says he can
stay wherever he is. Just as Vince is about to give the belt to Kurt, out
comes RICK FLAIR, looking dapper in a suit. Rick says to Angle that this is
not the way he wants to get the title, and he should win it by being the best
man. Flair informs Vince that he bought Shane and Stephâs shares and now
Vince and Flair are partners in business. Austin comes out and goes straight
for Angle. Austin goes for Vince. Austin looks at Flair and Flair looks at
Austin, directly in the eyes. Austin takes the belt from Flairâs shoulder.
Flair smiles. Austin drinks beer. Vince seethes.


The crowd goes wild for Jerry the King
He is where he belongs, next to the ring!

Matt puts Lita back in - an act of futility
he is not an asset, but a liability!

RVD is order to take on not one Dudley but two
many of his parts are now black and blue

I am not a doctor, but I am beginning to think
Jericho and Angle may each need a shrink!

Steph blames Shane, and says she is naive
Vince calls security, and does not grieve

WIlliam Regal actually kisses Vinceâs ass
Not even a Brit can do this with class

Jericho proved he is able to inflict pain
Just ask Rock, or better, ask Kane!

Angle walks around and continues to whine
Edge says he has his job and is just fine!

So Vince seems to have gotten himself some Flair
what will this mean for the superstars there?

Steve Austin throws Ric Flair a beer
There is another Alliance here!

Later, Lorddess


Please Pray
From: DarkSidersCoven elist member
This is such sad news.  Hugs to everyone.  I will light a candle for Dee tonight during "Raw". 

Jen


To MsTwod and MsP
From: DarksidersCoven elist member

My deepest sympathies to you both
I was given a message for both of you this eve
Know that she is in a place of no pain and within the light
Know that she had the best
Because she had the both of you
And will always be near you both
To guide you in this life
No tears for she is with the Goddess

Be Safe, Ayhla

Date: Mon, 19 Nov 2001
From: UTaker1988@aol.com
I am truly sorry to hear this, I remember her fondly from the many
discussions on the chat boards. Many prayers and thoughts to her family and
friends.

Toni


Date: Tue, Nov 20, 2001 11:35 AM
From: HostWWFAnt
My heartfelt sympathies, condolences and prayers go out to her family and friends.


Hellion - Nov 20, 2001
And let all of you at Phenomforest and Dee's family and friends know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
I am truly sorry for your loss of such a great friend.

Date: Tue, Nov 20, 2001
From: ArdethMistress

Msp and Lorddess,
I recently visited the Forest website and I saw about Dee... I am very sorry and wanted to send my condolencess...I know it has been ages since you have heard from me but I thought I should at least say something and know I will keep everyone in my thoughts and send as much good energy everyones way as I can....she was such a sweet girl... is a shame to lose her...

Hugs
Arcadia

Date: Thu, Nov 22, 2001 1:57 PM
From: HostWWFKim

Hey Guys,
Just wanted to send my condolences and best wishes out to Dee's family and friends. I was with all you regs here for so long, you all sort of feel like family to me and I am truly heartbroken to hear this news. She will be missed.
kim;)

Date: Thu, Nov 22, 2001 8:42 AM
From: JC4LAWAY

First off, I'd like to add my condolences for Dee and her family and friends. I agree that she would have not wanted this board to end like this. Why should we let one person disrupt and destroy something that has given so many Undertaker fans pleasure over many years. A song from Guns N Roses comes to mind (with a few alterations)!!

"This board id dedicated to ALL the Undertaker fans that have stuck with him through all the f##ing s'#it----
And to ALL those opposed,-well----------"
JC

|Back to Summerland|